What makes Relationship Last... ... I wonder... ...
A pretty tough question..
Open-ended without a definite right or wrong answer as it all boils down to one's definition of relationship... This can be a parent-child, teacher-student, romantic kind or just purely platonic friendship... So actually what makes relationship last? I decided to go google it and here is what I found so far... Interesting answers found thus far...
think the key to being in a relationship is to be able to go with the flow of things. Every human being is a dynamic in nature. As is any relationships that they get into. Things are never constant and always changing. That is the one real constant in life. If you're the type of person who can run with the changes and if you're with someone you really care about who can also do the same, I think that the relationship will work out fine. A relationship is all about caring about someone. Each person giving and taking a little here and there. It's not about one person, nor is it about how much people love one another. Sure, love is important, but compatibility and being able to change and grow together is more.
- LISA BROWN... @ www.yelp.com forums page..
Steve Perry pointed out yesterday that relationships aren’t a matter of finding a perfect mirror image of self. They are more in the nature of completing yourself, finding someone who can teach you and show you things about yourself you could not find on your own. Couldn’t agree more.Still, the basic point remains: unless you would consider yourself attractive, it is unrealistic to expect others to be attracted to you. Saying that “the person inside me” is attractive, wonderful, spiritual, loving…is a beautiful act of faith. Learning to express that person so that others can see him, well, that’s a little tougher. The same point of view would lead us to seeing everyone as wonderful, spiritual, loving…deep inside. And so I believe we are. But how many of us have that kind of vision?
- Steve Barnes... Excerpt from his blog= http://darkush.blogspot.com/
I totally second Lisa's take on going with the flow of things, IMO... adaptability.. Life is dynamic indeed..whether we like it or not.. Changes are everywhere all the time as we progress. Eureka... My final answer to the question above is "The ability to change and grow together" accepting, complementing one another and completing one another's equation in life towards a holistic way of living and loving perhaps.. This is what make Relationships of all kinds last...IMO..
Honestly... This question initially had left me dumbfounded for a while especially when such question had been asked by a nonchalant frenz who loves his freedom and personal space very so much..perhaps he...IMO... He might be diagnosed as commitment phobic or even? (Nonetheless, I must give him his due credit for his commitment to family though).. Haha..It all depends.. Hmm.. who knows... perhaps only in my eyes... He might just behave so different in front of other females etc... After all, we have simply known each other too well... To the extent that we are numb to the flaws of each other after so long... Acceptance and Mutual Tolerance bah.. in the name of friendship or social partnership... Pls dun be mistaken.. We too have had our shares of disagreements and unhappy experiences communicating or even working with each other.
So after dwelling so much on the question, I decided to post the question back to the very one who asked.. Guess what was his given answer?? A politically sound one of cos.. nothing new... " I don't know."
Coming to think more about it, perhaps this question not that unexpected though..cos we were talking about our envision or goal in life at least for the next few years as we approach the Big 3os... in our lifetime... I ended up sharing briefly about how I see myself to be a teacher commited to her work and students. This will most prob be my central focus of life for the next 5 years...Seeking a lasting Relationship is probably too complex and mind-boggling for someone like me who is still moving on slowly yet steadily from past experiences... The pain had become numb by now... with much lessons learnt about life.. Patience.. Forgiveness.. Acceptance of truth.
Too much for me to juggle too while copin with my calling in life.. To teach is to touch lives... with unconditional love for my students... Have learnt much about unconditional love in recent years when it is all about giving help and love willingly without seeking appreciation... If there is to be, it feels Good to be appreciated by others but even when there isnt any, this is just a way of life with all kinds of people... Certainly not all will be appreciative... After all... To give.. To teach..is paying it forward... Perhaps one fine day, many many years down the road, the whole cycle of giving and helping might have expanded so widely that some day it comes back to you.. As you know.. What comes around goes around... How true...
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