Last day of CNY of 2010: Yuan Xiao Jie

Been such a long long time since I last blog. In recent years, my blog has transformed into
a collection of my fav. youtube music videos. Oh well, coincidentally, by chance, thanks to a little comment by Anonymous on an old, in fact, ancient blog post during those sweet and happy days in 2005, I decided to pen my first blog for this Year of Tiger, 2010 on this auspicious day!

There was never an intention to write a blog since I stopped this regular habit which I took up during hostel days. One key reason was for me to share about my joys while practising my writing skill. 5 years back, the secondary reason was for me to communicate with my bf then.. a form of relating to him in an intellectual way..haha.. Oh well, he is a very philosophical thinker with sometimes a wasped yet unique way of thinking.. Anyway, this was all back in the good old happy days before things started to fall apart when we parted. No doubt, I am thankful that our friendship has resumed but indeed, like it or not, the fine, thin..close to invisible crack to our net of frienship bond exist for eternity. Boundaries have been drawn and I am proud to say that my love for him has transformed entirely from romantic love to pure friendship love.

No doubt, I still treasure him but now as a cherished friend who brings in couple of other good worthy friends into my life. Perhaps he was never meant to be the One of my life , instead his role is to be the missing link to a branch of friend network I never expect. All is well in the end. If he had never loved me romantically ( It was a misjudgement on his part to mix up cherished friendship w love as he claimed, so be it.) I had wasted too many years pondering and hoping in vain that he treats me more than a friend and one fine day, his parents will finally accept me and we will be reconciled. Looking back at this now, lol, what a joke! :) How naive of me!

I have learnt to let it go and move with life. With 30 little lives in my life now to cope with and mould, I have more meaningful tasks to do than to linger on such futile dream. No matter what happen, my happiness every single day is of the top priority and I need to work and train myself to achieve this every day!

Only when my cup is full of joy and hope that every day will be a fine day then could i spread the joy of life to my little ones and friends around me. I used to be a total pessimist, self-wallowing in self-pity that I have come a long way to improve much. Ironically, thanks to this ex-bf perhaps, I have toughened up mentally and spirtually. There are no doubts, times of pain and struggle with my job too but the time I took to bounce back have improved markedly.
Brain-kiss, gal! You have come a long way.. Embrace this new year with courage and curiosity to make your life better. Good luck